"Hard drive" ------- Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and
                     pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.

"Keyboard" --------- Place to hang your truck keys.

"Window" ----------- Place in the truck to hang your guns.

"Floppy" ----------- When you run out of Polygrip.

"Modem" ------------ How you got rid of your dandelions.

"ROM" -------------- Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.

"Byte" ------------- First word in a kiss-off phrase.

"Reboot" ----------- What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard
                     stuff.

"Network" ---------- Activity meant to provide bait for your trot line.

"Mouse" ------------ Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to
                     get a free case.

"LAN"  ------------- To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck."

"Cursor" ----------- What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or
                     girlfriend.

"Bit" -------------- A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed
                     across the porch longways."

"Digital Control" -- What yore fingers do on the TV remote.

"Packet" ----------- What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a trip.


 




        You Might be a Redneck if....


 You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table.

 You have to hit the dashboard in your truck to get the lights
 and  radio to work.

 The duct tape on your car seat sticks to the seat of your jeans
 when you get out.

 Your school dress code contains the line, "Shoes Optional"

 Your truck has a bumper sticker that reads, "Gun control is a
 steady hand."

 You think a night of fine dining is going to the Snack Bar at
 Wal-Mart

 You think Wal-Mart is expensive

 You have ever written a check for less than a dollar

 It doesn't bother you when you walk through a barn barefooted

 You have all the "Dukes of Hazzard" episodes on tape.

 You think that Roe vs. Wade is a decision you make when crossing
 the creek.

 It takes you and 31 others in the same room to show off a full
 set of teeth

 You've ever shoplifted Spam

 Your blood alcohol content has ever exceeded your I.Q.

 You have a set of 16 matching salad bowls, and they all say
 "Cool Whip" on the side

 Your name is Billy Joe Jim Bob III

 None of your zippers have all their teeth either

 You use a pig for a garbage disposal

 You can't go to church because your Sunday socks are being used
 as the truck's gas cap                                                  

 You think the vowels are E..I...E...I...O

 You clean out your truck with a leaf blower

 You have the policeman hold your beer while you get your license

 A tornado goes through your trailer park and makes it look neater

 You think "Meals on Wheels" is another name for roadkill.

 You think "Roadkill" is another name for dinner

 You keep your teeth and your goldfish in the same glass.

 On average, one out of every thirty words you use can be found
 in a dictionary.

 And finally...you just might be a redneck if you didn't find a
 dang one of these things the least bit funny!!!!